A Fresh Start

The Atlanta Color Run 5K was this morning. I was supposed to be running my first 5K today. Instead, I'm starting over today. Instead, I'm saying, "It's OK...I can do it."

When my husband came home last night, we had a conversation about committing to this new healthy lifestyle. He said he's been actively working to lower his portion sizes and to resist snacking. We both identified weak areas in our eating habits, with mine being the area of snacking. I snack way too much. I am an emotional eater. I know I've written this before. If I'm bored, I eat. If I had a bad day, I eat. If I had a good day, I eat. It doesn't matter when it is, I eat. I'm learning to control this. I'm working on practicing this: when I think I'm hungry, I count to 100, and I take a sip of water in between each sip. That's been curbing my snack binges pretty well. It's tough though. 

This morning, I had some yogurt. For lunch I made a quesadilla on a whole wheat tortilla with red onions and mushroom and low-fat cheese. Delicious. I've probably had a gallon of water to drink today, too. I have been super busy with Pinterest finding resources for workouts and motivations. I've found a lot of healthy recipes, and blogs of people who have had success with changing their lifestyle. Also, thanks to a friend's advice, I'm trying to look at this as a "lifestyle change" and not simply a diet and workout plan. Maybe that'll help me stick with it better. 

The number one thing that is helping motivate me right now is the fact that my husband is now on board. He said, "If this is what you wanted to do, then say something. I'm good with whatever. We can do this." Thanks, honey. :) 

Once again, I'm getting all kinds of motivation and good vibes from friends in person, via text message, and through Facebook. Just last night, I had a friend from college randomly text me to say that my last two posts were honest and inspiring. That makes me feel good. 

I've discovered yoga. I've done it before, but today I completed a 25 minute yoga session on my balcony in the fresh air. It was so invigorating! I do, however, need a good yoga mat. There are a ton of free resources on YouTube! Anything from 10-15 minutes to a whole hour. I'm going to try to get up just a little bit earlier in the mornings a few days a week and do a short 10-15 minute session to start my day. It'll be tough, but I think it will make a huge difference.

You have to start somewhere, and today is a fresh start! 

"Thanks for calling me out!"

It was late when my husband called me Wednesday night. I smiled and answered with, "Hey baby!" He said, "Thanks for calling me out on your blog!" Of course my first thought was, "Awwww! You read my blog!" I didn't really know what he was talking about. He went on to explain about how I posted his comment about Weight Watchers. He didn't mean it the way it sounded, but it's the way I took it. Most of the time though, it's not what really happened that counts, but how the other persons felt about it. The point is, I felt like HE was calling me out, even though I know he really wasn't. He explained to me that his point was the follow through was the important part of any plan.

This "calling out" conversation led to my husband saying we could workout together! He said if I was really serious about it, then he was really serious about it. We could workout together on his days off (pretty much every weekend), and maybe some mornings before I go to work. How exciting is this? 

Also, a friend of mine suggested we do morning yoga before work. Now I know I'm not a morning person, but maybe I can do it? This friend and I used to do coffee dates before work once or twice a week, and then (as she put it), "life got in the way." Truer words were never spoken. Life happens. It sucks, but somehow you have to start over and try again. 

Another friend suggested on Facebook to start with just one or two workout days a week. Do it when I can fit in with my normal schedule. Start slow. Maybe I can stick with it this time. I'm tired of not being able to stick with anything. However my husband meant it, it's true. The follow through is the important part. Hopefully if I have my husband and my friends, the follow through will actually happen this time! 

Another goal is to keep up with this blog more often. I know people are reading, and it is a great source of encouragement for me! Thanks, guys! Keep it up! 

The whole point is that I'm really excited (and kinda nervous) to start actually working out with my husband. I think it will be a great adventure for us, and I'm so excited! It'll be great for us to do things together, and hopefully we can build healthy habits!

Falling Off the Wagon

OK, so it's been two months since my last post. So much for keeping up with this, right? I have fallen off the wagon with my healthy lifestyle. Stress and grief got the best of me. It felt like it was just one thing after the other. Shin splints stopped me from running...again. My close friend passed away, then another friend passed away just a week later. Things at work piled up. Once I had missed a week of my normal workout routine, all hope seemed lost, and I have been very sporadic with my workouts since. I have fallen back into my emotional eating, and I just feel like I can't get a grip on things.

I tried to do all of this without paying extra anywhere. For example: I already pay to use the workout room at my apartment complex, so why pay more for a gym membership? I already go grocery shopping weekly, might as well just buy healthier foods. But I still can't stick with anything. It's a tough realization to come to. Why can't I keep it going? Why do I essentially give up after each try?

Below is a side by side view of me with 5 years difference. My husband and I recently celebrated our first wedding anniversary by visiting one of our favorite places: the North Georgia/North Carolina mountains. We visited this area for our one year dating anniversary five years ago (and many times since that first trip). Seeing the pictures side by side really shocked me. Have I really gained THAT much weight in just five years? It's not like I've gained 200 pounds, or anything outrageous like that, but it is disheartening to see that it is that noticeable.

This is just not acceptable anymore. I mentioned to my husband something about joined Weight Watchers Online, because I know several people who have had success with it. He broke my heart a little when he commented (shockingly), "Why pay for something like that, when you're not going to stick with it?" I know he didn't mean it the way it sounded, but it was a little guilt trip for me. He's right.

I feel like I am doing this alone. I don't workout with anyone. I don't have a trainer. I don't have friends close by who will workout with me. My husband eats just as horribly as I do. My husband and I are on different schedules, so it's hard for us to commit to this together.

If anyone has any suggestions to help me get my motivation back, please share. I'm not ashamed to say that I have fallen off the fitness wagon, but I do want to get back on. I'm past the "looking good" phase of it, and I'm now in the "I'm just not healthy" part. If I continue down this path, it will not be good, I know. Help!